Kelvin Pittman is the current alias of an online "intentional personality" curated by a community of eight people with minimal computer access and two ronin digital intelligences created in the early nineteen eighties[c.e.], originally for playing chess, go, and decrypting passwords routed through "the suburbs" of Soviet and Japanese government record-keeping and keystroke-count programs (ain't productivity a chuffer?), eventually hiring themselves out to any information-dense system (after a really funny episode where they almost hired each other - the D.I.'s - not the humans) for the express purpose of building the best and most accurate library of digitally-converted ambient "outside" sounds. [On a side note, they (the D.I.'s) have recently released a critically-acclaimed set of three 12" records (under the alias Alois Heller) entitled Auto/Insect, a collection of selected insect-traffic noise combinatorics recorded at a distance of up to five miles from along every freeway in the states of Arizona, New Mexico, and Nevada (apparently a large number of the recordings were culled from wiretaps and had the vocal element eliminated). The eight people, rumored to be the writers or beta-testers of either of the D.I.'s, speak entirely in 7th-dimensional mathematics equations, usually having to do with curved tesseracts, coffee, and sex. Kelvin remains unaware that he/it is a (partially) self-generated program, and continues playing as many instruments as he has atomic time for. In the Summer of 2003 Kelvin composed /choreographed /organised /performed an unusually directed and unconventional "opera" which totally failed, but was not legendary for doing so.