I just spoke with Kelvin. He said something like, "The cheese thing isn't personal."

Some think of Kelvin Pittman as a large potted plant possessed by some ancient, terrible spirit, aching to take a piss. After years of Anger Management classes, Mr. Pittman can now....well, what can't he do, eh? There's the real question, and none o' yr lip, or I'll airmail you nasty bourgeoise island vacation photos. The hairstyles alone'll make you wish for christmas, so you can wish for guns, or poison, or really ugly attack rodents.

Kelvin Pittman is the current alias of an online "intentional personality" curated by a community of eight people with minimal computer access and two ronin digital intelligences created in the early nineteen eighties[c.e.], originally for playing chess, go, and decrypting passwords routed through "the suburbs" of Soviet and Japanese government record-keeping and keystroke-count programs (ain't productivity a chuffer?), eventually hiring themselves out to any information-dense system (after a really funny episode where they almost hired each other - the D.I.'s - not the humans) for the express purpose of building the best and most accurate library of digitally-converted ambient "outside" sounds. [On a side note, they (the D.I.'s) have recently released a critically-acclaimed set of three 12" records (under the alias Alois Heller) entitled Auto/Insect, a collection of selected insect-traffic noise combinatorics recorded at a distance of up to five miles from along every freeway in the states of Arizona, New Mexico, and Nevada (apparently a large number of the recordings were culled from wiretaps and had the vocal element eliminated). The eight people, rumored to be the writers or beta-testers of either of the D.I.'s, speak entirely in 7th-dimensional mathematics equations, usually having to do with curved tesseracts, coffee, and sex. Kelvin remains unaware that he/it is a (partially) self-generated program, and continues playing as many instruments as he has atomic time for. In the Summer of 2003 Kelvin composed /choreographed /organised /performed an unusually directed and unconventional "opera" which totally failed, but was not legendary for doing so.

Kelvin Pittman plays alto saxophone in Super Unity and The Owl In Daylight (a Philip K. Dick cover band). He has also played in Control R Workshop, Peevish, and Rocket Science and the Nigger Loving Faggots. He also perpetrates body movement, plays all other instruments, and makes vocal sounds sometimes, and his long-time deviations from sound theorist Tim Bradley are rapidly becoming the stiff of legends.

Kelvin will fax to Jim a document he has on background of BPF and other finishes to help with preparing finish histories.

Kelvin had indicated the need to extend the minimum V dimension to extend 3 mm down, instead of the current 1mm down. Suggest to release drawing as original at 1mm down and do an updated drawing with 3mm. Kelvin will try to pull up historical data collected on low-end acceptance for removal torque. Kelvin will send a confirmation email to Jim when he is back in the office.